sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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