ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
