I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
