i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She even gives head with a lisp.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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