hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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