Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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