I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
