..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
