i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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