I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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