just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
