so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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