where am i from again
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize