K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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