Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
