next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
