so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
