Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
