Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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