like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize