You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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