guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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