You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
