i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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