He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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