make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
