she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
