Well apparently he's into motor boating.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
