So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize