just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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