No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
