I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
