38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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