...so i touched it.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
