He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
do nipples grow back?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
