oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
where are my pants?
in the oven.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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