He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
