it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
