I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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