Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize