I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
