so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
