just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
