I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
