Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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