Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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