youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
