i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
