i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
