i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
