i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
