Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
