A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
