my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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