I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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