wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
