I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
