Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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