Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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