The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
