I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
