You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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