I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
