I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
