I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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