dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
