I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
